Throwing water up in the air to feed the birds…Again

 You know the person in you that dresses up for doctor’s appointments, until you realize that’s actually hurting you because you “look fine”? I forget the actual terminology doctors put in charts, but it seems to be doctor code for … not sure what this person thinks they have but to me they look A-Okay. Anyway, that person in me was going to just post my latest watercolors with a short, but sweet message, and leave it at that, but then I realized I’m not alone here and it may help others to know they aren’t alone too. So, I’m going to be honest. The truth is my head is spinning because I’m applying for disability … A-freaking-gin. Third time is a charm? The first time I applied through Social Security was only a year out, and what I’m learning is that so much more has happened, and I have had to document it all, all the new doctors, tests, medications. I’m telling you, well-people, who will hopefully never be on this journey, it’s an insane amount of detail and when you’re ill, it’s taxing to your already fragile health. The application wants what feels like everything from a person, me, who can’t remember their last thought, let alone the date of a doctor’s appointment four years ago (thank goodness I kept wall calendars). So, I’ve been plugging away at it every day. It took me three days just to enter all the health care professionals who have seen me for my illness, four years’ worth. But they don’t just want names, they also want addresses, phone numbers, dates seen, what they saw you for, diagnosed you with, treated you for, tests they ran and medications they put you on. I get it, but when you’ve done this several times it just feels like you’re throwing water up in the air to feed the birds. It might help, it probably won’t. Regardless, I warrior on!💪

So, I guess my blog this week has turned into an all-about-me vent session (unless you can relate, and I really hope you can’t) and I appreciate you reading through. I know you could be literally doing a million other things, so thanks for the ear/shoulder/eyes/what have you. Hoping your week has been and will continue to be a peaceful, easy one.

One last thing before my brain literally short circuits 😳 I’ve learned that my favorite time of year to doodle and watercolor is the winter holiday season. Y’all it’s been so fun!!