Major writers block today…I guess it happens to the best of us. Last night I must have
breathed wrong turned my head wrong and my neck went into it’s dazzling display of spasms, which proceeded throughout the night, into the morning. The grand finale of my neck spasms typically results in a searing, shooting pain that travels from my neck through my head to the back of my eye. This leaves my eye puffy and painful. I’m telling you it’s glamorous, so glamorous (insert using humor as a coping mechanism). Sooo that’s my excuse for the writer’s block, but I’m still blogging because it’s ‘blog Tuesday’ as I call it at my house.
In an effort to find something to write about I googled ‘funny blog posts’ and from the lists and lists and lists of ideas (truthfully I only read the beginning of like two lists but boy there are so many lists) I ended up choosing to share with you my most embarrassing moment. I’m sharing it for three reasons, one, maybe it’ll help me forget about how much pain I’m currently in, two, hopefully it’ll give you a little chuckle and three, well let’s just say Adulting is Hard.
I feel like Sophia Petrillo from the Golden Girls, “Picture it 1940’s Sicily.” Except mine goes, picture it 1980’s Del Mar, California. But first a little back story to get you started. A new Hilton hotel had just been built in Del Mar and was in need of full staffing, so I eagerly applied and got the job. I loved the hotel industry because people are typically so happy on vacation and was very excited to be joining the Hilton team. Anyhoo, my most embarrassing moment to date was the day before opening day.
In an effort to get all the employees on the same page and super motivated for opening day the company held an all-hands-on-deck meeting the day before opening day. The company opened every meeting room into one huge room and we were all to come, dressed in our uniforms, looking picture perfect, to have our big, Opening Day meeting: the Do’s and Don’ts, as well as the general ‘Go Team Hilton’ message. Now I will tell you that I tend to be a couple minutes late to things. Time is very valuable to me and I’m always trying to squeeze every minute out of every day, so if you’re thinking I’m late because of lack of respect or attention seeking, it’s definitely not those things. It’s more like, oh I should do this one more thing before I go, and despite the image you may have of me I’m also incredibly shy, quiet and would always prefer to just blend into the crowd.
Knowing myself I got up early that day, got ready, things were looking good, got in the car with a few minutes to spare, and wouldn’t you know it, at some point my fingernail snagged my hose. Lesson number one learned that day: always keep an extra pair of pantyhose in your car if they are part of your work uniform. Ugh. Thankfully I had a few extra minutes, so I set off to find hose, which eventually I did, but now I was no longer running early. Can I just say, any of you who have had the pleasure of changing your hose in a panic in the car, that was a fun time, wasn’t it? Okay, at this point I was maybe a couple minutes late, not many, and arrived to find no parking, none, anywhere, which makes sense since EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE was there. Things you don’t necessarily think through at 19, or maybe you do, but I didn’t. In an absolute panic I parked in the red zone. Yep I did, don’t judge, I wouldn’t now. And I rushed in. Lesson number two: If hundreds of people are showing up to a small parking lot arrive early so you find parking.
I make my way into the huge banquet room, trying desperately not to disturb the speaker, and it’s filled with tables, so many tables, but seemingly no where to sit! So, I quietly mosey up near the front to an open spot and try to shake the thought of ‘I probably just got fired and the hotel hasn’t even opened yet’. The meeting is upbeat and motivational, and I quickly forget the mornings cascade of good fortune that had fallen upon me. If you’re thinking that was the moment, it wasn’t. So, the meeting is moving along swimmingly, maybe 45 minutes in when a few firefighters came in the back entrance where I had, I have no idea why they were at the hotel that day, but there they stood at the back of the room filled with literally hundreds of people, and one of them, using his ‘outside voice’ to reach everyone in the room says, “Would the person with the license plate M-E-E-S-H-K-A please move your car. You are blocking the fire hydrant.” Oh, I should have also mentioned, my name is Mishka, and as you may have now guessed, yes, that was my plate. A silence fell upon the crowd as everyone curiously waited for this careless offender to rise and go move their car. Slowly I stood, if there was ever a moment in my life where I wish I was invisible or had made different life choices that was it! I quickly made my way to the exit, apologized to the kind firefighters after my lecture of how and why you should never park in front of fire hydrant, and moved my car. For some reason, the company didn’t fire me, in fact nobody ever said anything, but 30 years later, that memory still sits with me. Lesson number three: Don’t park in the red zone, ever, ever, ever.
Okay I promised you a chuckle so if that didn’t give you one I don’t want to leave you empty handed. Go check this funny video out: (facebook https://www.facebook.com/Imbrandonfarris/videos/1373259202816779/ or if you prefer Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXNLzU3N8OI ) I’m telling you folks, he’s hilarious. I’ve mentioned him before on here. The video has over 31 million views and it’s only been out five days.
Thank you for popping by today. Hoping you enjoyed my trip down memory lane or at least the video. Not many doodles as I’ve been in a flare, hopefully my body will find its upswing and hold on for dear life. Wishing you a day that is kind to you. 🌸