Am I freaking out?

A little yes. Do I have good reason, also yes. Because I like to know how things work, I’m now well versed on how the virus attacks the body (per a credible source) and it’s not pretty. It can attack the lungs, heart, and brain. I have cardiovascular issues, bronchial issues, brain stem issues, and am immunocompromised. Do I want to go on and on about it? Nope, not really. Not only would the emotions it would stir up be unhealthy for my fragile immune system, but I notoriously tuck away when things get to be too much. So it’s back to resting (same ol’, same ol’), drinking ridiculous amounts of tea, and hoping this all goes way better than expected. Take good care of yourself and those in your community. We have to work together on this one, folks, we just have to. If you’re looking for ways to help, maybe next time you’re at the store, leave a container of toilet paper for the next person. 🌼 And if you have ME and you’re looking for resources this is a good spot. 

Ashton Tweet (2)

A couple doodles. 🌸


15 thoughts on “Am I freaking out?

  1. Everyone has good reason to do a bit of freaking out at this point. I get there is a lot of asymptomatic transmission and “most people” will probably be fine. But, uh, if the idea that a person could be a walking Typhoid Mary isn’t enough to unnerve that same person, then that is a person I’d want to socially isolate from even *after* this is all over. Being a plague vector should be just as unnerving to people as being a plague victim! If (when? as we’re talking 1 in 3 infected within the year?) I get it, I’m sure corona’ll knock me on my butt – quite literally – between its usual symptoms and the fact my BP also crashes every time I get sick. But, I’m not specifically “immune-compromised” or lower-lung function. It’s much scarier for those who are. *Hugs.* My sibling, who has EDS like I have and more is a “unicorn zebra”, while I’m *just* a zebra – and got to avoid having *two* complete rare diseases. It’s scary watching case counts continue to increase in a disturbingly perfect exponential doubling to the point where I bet infection rates from corona will be used as statistics class examples in a year or two. Anyone who is or cares about someone who even *might* be higher risk should be kind of freaked out. I’m relieved we have at least done *something,* but the crowds on St. Patrick Day in hard-hit areas pretty much sum up why sometimes having a healthy sense of freak out is safer, really. Stay safe!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Great points! And my fingers are crossed that you and your partner don’t get it. I keep waiting to hear if humans build an immunity. I suppose once we hear the body does then they’ll tell us it’s mutated … catastrophize much?! 😳😂 Thank you for sharing your thoughts and assuring me that freaking out is, not only a typical response, but probably the better choice at this point. Take good care!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I agree, freaking out is starting to be called for. So many people are taking the “I’ll go out when I want; I don’t care if it endangers other people!” type of attitude, especially when they were making St Patrick’s Day plans, and that’s scary. In my state, the governor gave an executive order that all bars and dine-in restaurants are closed unless they have a drive through, until further notice, and the rule began the day before St Patrick’s Day. People were mad about it, but it was probably the safest decision.

      There are people I know cancelling long-planned-for weddings this spring to avoid making people travel and sit in a crowded room when it may not be safe.
      If they can make major changes like that, everyone else can stop going to restaurants for awhile.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Definitely. Greed is so pervasive in the US. It’s interesting to see so many simply ignore the numbers. Makes one wonder if they think they’re invincible or if they simply don’t care. I guess when you’re already chronically ill and fear for your body’s behavior often you know first hand that you don’t want more if that. And for those of us that have ruminated endlessly over what we could or should have done differently so that we didn’t get sick in the first place, …well, we learned the lesson the hard way and it stuck with us.

        Thank you for the compliment in the other comment 🌸😊 Please stay safe and hopefully we’ll have a better outcome than anticipated. 💕

        Liked by 1 person

      1. My Partner’s response to SF going into shelter-in-place was, “It’s good they started their inevitable two months now. This way by the time the state catches on fire again this year people might actually be able to gather together in evacuation shelters without creating a major secondary infection curve peak.” Optimism in 2020 just means still thinking disasters at least don’t have to *compound*, it seems. Also my therapist started our first virtual session tonight with, “I thought of you immediately when it *only* took a global pandemic for me to finally be able to offer you tele-sessions. Are you at least enjoying the ‘I told you so’ from 2018 when you noted it was poor long-term planning for [hospital outpatient practice] not to have had a plan for it in place should a disaster ever strike the community? Don’t forget to take some time between planning for the economic fallout next to appreciate the irony.”

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I mean…your partner is not wrong. I watched Mark Zuckerberg interview a gentleman from the NIH yesterday and Mark asked about the building of immunity, to which NIH said, “We’re waiting to see what happens in China.” An honest answer, but not a comforting one. In the mean time I’ll be over focusing on today…the best I can. 💜

        Liked by 1 person

  2. That little cake looks good enough to eat.
    I’m with you in the concerns, Mishka. In reality, I don’t think I’d survive it if I got it and I know I’m at risk, but I’m more concerned about my parents that I live with (elderly and with their own health issues, especially my dad). I’ve been out more in the last week than I have the last 6 months thanks to empty shelves and desperately trying to get errands done too (library, prescriptions for everyone, bills etc). Exhausting and all the more so when on hyper alert constantly. The news gets overwhelming and my heart aches for so many people right now. It’s such a bizarre, worrying time. Never thought we’d experience something like this in our lifetime.
    Stay safe and as well as possible. We’re all here together in this  ♥
    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Please try to stay safe, Caz, and take good care. 🌸 I know it’s easier said than done. It’s true, it feels surreal, like we are all trapped in some weird movie. My son asked if this had ever happened in my lifetime. I wanted to tell him yes, and we’ll be fine, but the truth is no, and we don’t know what’s necessarily to come. It feels akin to watching a car accident over and over hoping for different results, just these constant shots of adrenaline, mixed with fear, and sadness. Too much to process. But today is today and also important to just be if at all possible. I’m still sinking into the British baking show on Netflix. It’s good relief for me. I’m a terrible baker so I’m in awe. I think though they should have someone like me on the show just so we could all see how truly talented they really are. 😊 Hoping today brings you moments of peacefulness and that you and your parents get through it all best as possible 💙

      Liked by 1 person

  3. We’re in lockdown here in Belgium, and the police is patrolling and using drones to check that measures are being followed. It’s all very surreal, but also necessary. In France, they have enlisted the army as well. This could still happen in Belgium too. It’s an anxious time, but us chronically ill people, we’ve already been through plenty of crises. We’ve already adapted to a ‘unusual’ life. I think that we can cope better, at least mentally, than fully healthy people. We should probably be giving them advice about how to cope when you suddenly can’t go outside anymore! Just my two cents… Stay safe!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for stopping in and sharing your thoughts! It’s hard to even believe this really happening, drones and police control, and yet you’re in the middle of it. Some people in California seem to think they’re invincible, or something, I don’t know, but they certainly aren’t abiding by our governors orders to stay inside. I’m sorry we’re all experiencing this.
      I agree we have tips and tools for coping during this time, and a resilience that’s developed over time. And I 100% agree with you that it’s a good time for us to share what we know, but I have to admit, and I’m not proud to say, it’s difficult to dig even deeper and help those who have turned their backs and walked away when I needed them most. And yet still we rise to help as we’re able because we already know levels of suffering in isolation and we wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Take good care and sending out hopes that this ends far better and much quicker than anticipated. 🌸

      Liked by 1 person

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